What's wrong with me?

What’s wrong with me?

I go to church nearly every week, but I struggle with faith.

What’s wrong with me?

Of all people, you would think that with everything I’ve been through and survived, I would have strong faith, but I don’t.

What’s wrong with me?

Don’t get me wrong…I do believe that God is real, that Jesus died for us, and that through Him, we can have everlasting life in Heaven. I have seen the power of prayer, and I have seen what God can do, even for those who are struggling in life.

What’s wrong with me?

Is it because I didn’t grow up with a strong religious background? Is it because the bit of religion I did grow up with turned out to be considered a cult? Is it because I’m a bit too independent, being forced in life to do things on my own? Is it the anxiety that I live with, which makes me question everything even when I know without a doubt that it’s correct?

This past week, our pastor talked a bit about “borrowed faith”…the faith that children often have. They take on the faith of their parents, but then, in time, they develop their own. Is that what I have? Do I have borrowed faith? Am I still a child in the world of religion? Who am I borrowing faith from?

I would love to have that absolute faith that I see others have. For now, though, I have a lot to evaluate in my life, and it’s apparent that at this point, I have a long way to go on my journey in becoming a Christian. 

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